Spotlighting Remarkable Women and Girls

6 Ways to Tackle Gaslighting from a Fellow Femme

By Adaline Sosu

Gaslighting—a term that has gained traction in recent years—is often associated with romantic relationships and male perpetrators. But let’s not overlook the fact that women can gaslight each other too. Whether it’s subtle undermining or outright manipulation, female-on-female gaslighting can be just as damaging. So, how do we reclaim our truth and tackle this insidious behavior? Here are six clever strategies to keep your sanity intact.

1.       Trust Your Instincts

First and foremost, listen to your gut. Women are often socialized to second-guess their feelings, but intuition is a powerful tool. If you sense something is off in a conversation or relationship, don’t dismiss it. Recognizing that your feelings are valid is the first step in standing your ground. Remember, your instincts are like a finely- tuned radar; they can guide you through the fog of confusion.

2.        Document Everything

Gaslighting often involves someone twisting the narrative to make you doubt your memories. A great way to counteract this is by keeping a journal. Document conversations, situations, and your feelings immediately after they happen. This not only provides a reference point when your reality is questioned but also serves as a therapeutic outlet. Plus, you’ll have a handy list of receipts if you need to confront the gaslighter later!

3.        Set Boundaries Like a Boss

Gaslighting—a term that has gained traction in recent years—is often associated with romantic relationships and male perpetrators. But let’s not overlook the fact that women can gaslight each other too. Whether it’s subtle undermining or outright manipulation, female-on-female gaslighting can be just as damaging. So, how do we reclaim our truth and tackle this insidious behavior? Here are six clever strategies to keep your sanity intact.

4.         Seek Support

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to see through the haze of manipulation. Talk to close friends or family members about your experiences. They can provide validation and insights that you might be too close to the situation to see. Remember, a strong support system is like having a personal cheerleading squad— always there to lift you up and remind you of your strength.

  • Practice Assertiveness

When gaslighting occurs, it’s easy to fall into the trap of being defensive or passive-aggressive. Instead, practice assertive communication. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming the other person. For instance, say, “I feel uncomfortable when you dismiss my opinions,” rather than, “You always make me feel bad!” This approach helps to assert your feelings while minimizing confrontation.

6.        Know When to Walk Away

Finally, recognize that not all relationships are worth saving. If a friend continuously undermines your reality and disregards your feelings, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not those who drag you down. Remember, your mental and emotional well-being should always come first.

In conclusion, gaslighting among women is not only a reality but a challenge we can face head-on. By trusting our instincts, documenting our experiences, setting boundaries, seeking support, practicing assertiveness, and knowing when to walk away, we can navigate these murky waters with grace. Let’s empower each other and create a culture where women build each other up, not tear each other down. After all, the only drama we should be dealing with is the one on our favorite TV shows!

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