By Francisca Sinjae
In a world that often celebrates resilience while overlooking the cost of carrying it, conversations about emotional wellbeing have never been more important. Across homes, workplaces, schools, and communities, countless women continue to shoulder the invisible weight of caregiving, responsibility, and expectation, often at the expense of their own mental health.
For Dr. Rosemary Uwaleme, psychotherapist, education consultant, and Executive Director of Inspire Minds, these realities are not abstract conversations. They are the stories she encounters daily through her work supporting young people, families, and individuals navigating anxiety, burnout, emotional distress, and the pressures of modern life. A passionate advocate for mental health awareness and psychosocial support, Dr. Uwaleme has dedicated her career to helping people understand that emotional wellness is not a luxury but a necessity.
In this conversation with Raising Women Magazine, she reflects on the hidden toll of always being “strong,” the growing mental health challenges facing young women, the cultural barriers that continue to fuel stigma, and why creating emotionally healthy homes and communities could transform the future for women and girls across Africa.
Many women are expected to be emotionally strong for everyone around them from their children, partners, families, workplaces and often without space to process their own emotions. From your experience, what happens to women’s mental health when they are consistently placed in the role of “emotional caregiver”?
It is a natural instinct for women to take the role of emotional caregivers but the problem is when the woman forgets that she is also needs rest, she also need attention. Women who are always “strong for everyone else” may struggle to seek help when they need it themselves. They may feel that they are responsible to take care of everyone’s problems and forget their own. They may experience increased stress, emotional fatigue, anxiety, and burnout.
Over time, they can begin to neglect their own needs, suppress their emotions, and develop feelings of resentment, loneliness, or overwhelm. Women need to take out time for themselves. You can’t fill from an empty cup. You need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. And because of the critical role women play in raising children, they need to pour into into selves regularly so they can be a place of solace for their children.
You work closely with young people who are struggling with anxiety, depression, and emotional distress. What patterns are you noticing in how today’s environment is shaping the mental health of girls and young women in particular?
Emotional exhaustion is a concern that should not be unattended to. At every point time our health is our concern. However, when it begins to affect normal daily functioning. When it persists for weeks or months and starts to affect daily functioning, relationships, work, parenting, or physical health.
Some early signs to look out for that shows you that your wellbeing needs some attention include;
Frequent irritability or anger
Constant fatigue that rest does not relieve
Feeling emotionally numb or detached
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Increased crying or emotional sensitivity
- Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
- Feelings of hopelessness or being trapped
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, or stomach problems e.t.c
Recognizing these signs early and seeking support can prevent more severe mental health challenges.
In many African households, mental health is still not treated with the same urgency as physical health. Why do you think emotional pain is still so easily minimised, especially when it comes to women and children?
Social media is affecting young people…. Causing issues of body image insecurities, bullying e.t.c Again parents have become too busy trying to survive that don’t pay attention to their children. Those days a child was not raised by one person but by the community. Parents had more time to pour into their children ;
family values, culture and skills that helped children stay more resilient. Now social media is taking the place of parents and many parent are on the back seat of training their children. Prents are hardly present and these are things that play very crusial role aoldescents and young people’s mental health ourcomes.
A large number of women are silently battling burnout while still appearing functional in their daily lives. At what point does emotional exhaustion become a clinical concern, and what early signs should women never ignore?
I would say lack of awareness, stigma and poor educational system. A lot of people lack understanding of what mental health is and that also brings a lot of stigma around the issue.
Also poor educational system because these things should be taught in schools. An uneducated farmer in the village or an illiterate will naturally not stigmatize mental health because he doesn’t know about it, he may even call in witch craft and when there isn’t a lot of understanding people will also stignmatize it. These makes those having one challenge or the other prefer to hide it as a way of salvaging it.
If emotional wellness became a non-negotiable priority in African homes, schools, and communities, what would meaningfully change for women and girls within the next generation?
The impact could be transformative. Women and girls would likely experience:
- Better mental health outcomes and reduced rates of anxiety and depression.
- Increased self-esteem and confidence.
- Healthier family and intimate relationships.
- Greater ability to set boundaries and advocate for their needs.
- Reduced stigma around seeking psychological support.
- Improved academic and career performance.
- Lower rates of gender-based violence through increased awareness of healthy relationships.
- Stronger resilience and emotional intelligence among children raised in emotionally healthy homes.
A generation raised to value emotional wellness would be better equipped to manage stress, resolve conflicts, and build healthier communities.
“We often speak of the “first daughter” as a role rather than a birth order, shaped by early responsibility, emotional labour, and expectation. In what ways have you carried this role in your life, and how has it shaped the person you have become?”
What does the first daughter role do to a person?
In many families, especially within African cultures, first daughters often take on significant responsibilities from a young age. They may act as caregivers, mediators, role models, and helpers for both parents and siblings.
While this role can foster leadership, responsibility, empathy, and maturity, it can also create challenges when expectations become excessive. Some first daughters report:
Feeling responsible for everyone’s well-being
- Difficulty asking for help
- Perfectionism and fear of failure
- Chronic stress and pressure to succeed
- Guilt when prioritizing their own needs
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Anxiety about disappointing family members
- Delayed personal goals due to family obligations
When the burden becomes overwhelming, first daughters may experience what is described as “parentification” a situation where a child takes on responsibilities typically expected of an adult. Balancing responsibility with adequate support, recognition, and opportunities for self-care is essential for healthy development
